I will be honest with you. The year 2020 and since has been a challenge for holding my center. I am not ashamed to admit that it has been a challenge, although my inner self-critical voice does grumble that perhaps I was not as resilient or as serene as I could have been. And I will be the first to admit – there is always room for my improvement.
Well, just recently, life’s path had another pothole with all sorts of topsy turvy energy. I am not surprised – the entire evolution of our consciousness as humans has been topsy turvy and likely will continue to be for a while. But this pothole came with challenges to my financial security and with it up came all the patterning of freak out. I have struggled most of my life with learning how to know without a doubt that I can succeed financially, and that I have Divine assistance, and that I have the power of manifestation. It took me many years, but I am now financially stable with “enough to share and enough to spare”. So, when the topsy turvy energy threw me the curve ball of possible financial disruption – Bam! I fell back into my freak out pattern.
And then when my sister said (she of the ability to-manifest-everything-since-forever) “You always go to that place”, I was startled into a reflection of “Is that true? Is that my default? Is Anxiety always my close companion?” Luckily, I was reminded by my friend, teacher, and shaman Dr Carl Greer (author of Change Your Story, Change Your Life: Using Shamanic and Jungian Tools to Achieve Personal Transformation) to dialogue with those parts of me that might feel unwanted now. For me that part is Anxiety (with a capital A, big warrior masculine Anxiety). Sacred dialogue is a process by which you sit in deep reflection, in conversation with that aspect of yourself, to gain understanding and subsequent resolution. Carl details the process beautifully in his book; here I share my interchange.
Me (M): Hello Anxiety.
Anxiety (A): Hi again.
M: Why are you so active right now?
A: It’s my job.
M: What is your job?
A: To be vigilant, to be aware, to protect you.
M: I appreciate that you protect me, but it does come at a cost.
A: I did not mean for it to cost you.
M: Sometimes I can’t sleep, sometimes I worry throughout the day, sometimes even when worry is not needed.
A: You do have to be careful.
M: But I would like to have Faith (F).
A: Faith didn’t help us before.
M: When was before? How many lifetimes have you and I been together?
A: Many lifetimes, maybe 12.
M: What did you do for me?
A: I made you watch, made you move quickly, help you stay alive.
M: Was I at war?
A: Yes, and I helped save you.
M: I love that you saved me.
A: You’re welcome.
M: But when I am not at war, being wary prevents me from enjoying the beauty and the calm.
A: I can see that.
M: I’d like to do things a different way. Would you be willing to allow Faith to take over part of the protection detail?
A: I’ve never worked with her before.
M: She’s solid, strong, a light in the tunnel.
A: I am willing to try but if anything goes wrong, I am jumping right back in.
M: Do you want to meet her?
M: Anxiety – meet Faith.
A: I sense her commitment and power. I am ok with relinquishing to her.
M: I want you to know how much I appreciate you over the years. You are my steadfast helper. Thank you.
A: I am always at your service.
M: Don’t go away, just rest for a while and let Faith take over.
A: OK. I have been tired.
M/F: We love you. We have got this.
To me, the basics are the following – be in quiet space to honestly hear your deepest inner voice. Truly listen as the voice speaks up and allow it to be fully heard. Be sure you understand what meaning that part has, what its purpose has been. Every part of you once served and may still serve a purpose. So, understanding what drives those parts is a step toward shifting the pattern you no longer want to be active. Appreciating those parts is also critical. After you have this discussion, then you can negotiate for a change in the dynamic you and this part share.
I remember some teachings of THEO – a collective energy of higher beings channeled by Sheila Gillettte. THEO asked us to call back our orphans (ignored soul parts) to us, and to love them. Sacred dialogue is about recognizing the value of ALL of you and seeing the power of negotiating among your parts to come up with the best collective approach for this time in your life.